Hate is of different types and intensities. Sometimes, its relatively harmless. Like the moments when we say, “I hate that meal I had last night🥲”, “I hate this dress, its too tight for me to breathe”. But some hate, say, are relatively more harmful, some even fatal to oneself or others. Now, that’s the kind of hate I want to ponder upon. That which comes from certain people over certain people, who are otherwise decent. The kind that we do commonly come across in the social media, political or social relationships in general. This is not a latest trend, like we may sometimes be tempted to conclude, it’s been existing among humans, since ages. Perhaps, today’s social media just makes it more evident than before.
Before going deeper into the topic, I want to clarify, this is not a comprehensive scientific study on the said topic. But say, just of a lay person’s contemplation of the cultural dynamics.
To startwith, I think we need one more term to grasp the dynamics. It’s called “Cognitive dissonance”. A simple google search says, “It is a psychological state that occurs when someone’s beliefs, values, or actions don’t align. It can also refer to the tension of holding two conflicting beliefs at once”.
Let us take some examples to understand this better. Say, when one believes, “Lighter skinned people are more desirable than the counterparts”, and then comes across someone on the darker side who has more “following” and fan base, the cognitive dissonance can kick in. Similarly, when someone who might hold a belief that ‘Lgbtqia+ are mentally ill”, but then sees a community person who is clear headed and exemplary in some field, the cognitive dissonance kicks in. It’s the same thing that happens when, one sees a person living life in their own terms, while holding a belief that they are helpless or weak.
What happens while we are in such a state of cognitive dissonance? We are pushed to some sort of a psychological turbulance, uncertainty, confusion and fear. Fear of what? Fear that we were wrong all along. Well, if we had been wrong , it’s serious. We had lived our life based on that, managed relationships based on that, made choices based on that, big or small. We have to address this instability somehow or we can’t move on, because, we fear this unknown.
When such a state happens, people can respond to it in different ways. Say, some of us may develop coping mechanisms that might help us temporarily deal with the confusion, and calm us. One of such things is to get into blame games, to resort personal attacks, labelling, even secretly seek downfall or destruction of the person in the “other” side. Shortly to say, “hate”. We even try to group-up people thinking like us to validate our belief to hate the “others” “together”, so we can get rid of this turbulence. Not to mention, this sub-culture of hate is no more just a component of the oppressor communities, it’s increasingly seen among the oppressed/woke communities.
Is there a better way to respond? Whats stopping one from taking the better way, rather settle for the “hate” path? I would say the difference lies in one’s love for “truth”. Truth itself is more important than our beliefs or ego. It’s life. One can “never” succeed fighting against it, atleast not for long! To keep oneself “open to new truths” is the utmost quality of those who are humble and thriving, even if that might mean to admit , “may be I was wrong”. They are the ones who vehemently resist the hate culture by drawing necessary boundaries whenever hate comes their way; for they know it’s the “ideas” that needs to be attacked, not the people. They are the children of the light, the ones who are unafraid to embrace the new, to be be born again, again and again and again❤️.
The hate sub-culture on the other hand, is a lazy path of short cut, so unwittingly short sighted and reducing. It requires enormous energy, masks, lies, wilful slaves to justify it’s stance. It’s marked by hypocrisy, fact-twisting, doublethink and violence. The sad thing about lies is that it always eventually loses to the truths, irrespective of the proportion of support one can manage to harness. Given a chance, even guilt can be a guiding light, but never hate.
anujajohnsonwrites 